Does being seen, telling your story and being honest about your feelings make you run and hide? There is nothing easy about laying it on the line and speaking your Truth. I was reminded of this last week when I launched my first ever website!
In the creation of the website, I felt super confident. A dear friend designed it and he understands my taste and knows a great deal about me so I wasn’t really being exposed in that portion of the process.
Monday, December 7th came around and I started to contract, hide-out and make excuses why I shouldn’t launch the site. I told my friend (the web designer) and my business mastermind group that I was going to postpone the launch due to some minor edits that needed to be made. Well, my friends in this mastermind group aren’t about hiding out – AT ALL. They called me out and forced me to announce my website on Facebook and Instagram.
Leading up to pressing “post” I had knots in my stomach. I was incredibly nervous but I hit the button and then… exhaustion, fear and sadness came over me. I was stunned at my reaction but I couldn’t get away from the urge to literally crawl into my bed and just hide.
This entire scenario got me thinking about vulnerability.
What really is vulnerability?
- Vulnerability – capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon.
I did feel hurt in that moment of releasing my website out into the world. Not because I didn’t absolutely adore my website and not because I was getting negative feedback but because I was exposed. My story, my journey, my words were out there… in cyberworld for anyone and everyone to see. I had ZERO control over who would view my site and the opinions they would form. And if you know anything about me, I do enjoy control. (Yes, I am working on it).
We all have blocks and limitations around “being seen and being fully expressed” because it triggers fear in the brain. This is ironic because in actuality the only thing we desire as humans is connection. True, deep connection only comes from authenticity and openness. We will open this can of worms in another blog though ;).
Back to the story…
The feedback I received from friends, family and peers was
- “I feel like you are talking to me when I read your website. It just feels like you.”
That got me thinking, what if I had not put it all on the line? What if I had tried to sound different or act like someone else? Would the reveal of my website have completely flopped if I didn’t truly open up and create it from my heart?
I mean I am not a psychic but my prediction is YES it would have been a complete dud.
So…. is vulnerability the key to success?
I have really come to dislike the definition of success over the past several months. It is so cliche and does not focus on anything besides money and approval BUT for the sake of this blog post…
- Success – the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.
‘Termination’ is not existence in any sense if you are a success because success is an ongoing journey. Just as getting comfortable with being vulnerable is an ongoing journey. It isn’t like you ride an elevator to the “success” floor, get off and never go back down to the lower floors. You are constantly tinkering between floors… floors higher AND lower than success.
So if we can start to think of ‘being wounded’ (from the vulnerability definition) as ‘favorable and prosperous’ then perhaps we will accomplish our goals’ (from the success definition).
When we create from our hearts people receive and resonate.